Monday, April 29, 2013

Breathless Expectations

The writer of the book said the one thing we can be certain of is uncertainty. But I delude myself with my  own confidence. I put myself on a schedule to perfection, an agenda of self-confidence. I discipline myself and practice skills until I "know for sure" that nothing will harm me. Not me. Not my family. If I study hard enough, make enough money, take my medicine, pray regularly, and be kind to my neighbors, my lot is secure.
Wrong. Right outside my window this the perfect example. Little lettuces, planted carefully and watched over faithfully are snipped in the wee hours of the night  by a fat rabbit. I knew it might happen. It happened before, but I will try again. I must never give up hope. I will try other varieties and put down some repellent. And I will trust.
The writer said that "certainty is the mark of a commonsense life— gracious uncertainty is the mark of the spiritual life. To be certain of God means that we are uncertain in all our ways, not knowing what tomorrow may bring. This is generally expressed with a sigh of sadness, but it should be an expression of breathless expectation. We are uncertain of the next step, but we are certain of God."
Who lives with breathless expectation? I will tell you who. The person who has walked through the valley of the shadow of death - yet certain of God. The person who has watched the life they loved be taken from them through illness or tragedy - yet certain of God. The person who has experienced rejection - yet certain of God. The person who has been treated unfairly, yet holds their head up with grace, certain of God. That is breathless expectation. My friend who lost her daughter eight years ago said recently on her birthday, " I will sing to her today. I will fling the joyful birthday anthem to the wind and let is soar over the clouds and into the halls of heaven."

That is breathless expectation.