I am sitting here looking at a map of the world. Here I sit
in Atlanta. And far away, on the other side of the earth my son and his new
bride are seeing things I have never seen, experiencing places I will probably
never go. And I am happy for them and
share in their joy as they send pictures and first impressions of the sights
and sounds of a fabulous honeymoon.
I remember my honeymoon. It was 42 years ago today. And while we did not travel around the world,
the looming chairlift to view the Smoky Mountains was fairly spectacular for
this Kentucky girl and her man. Each year, we have made the effort to celebrate
these quickly-gone-by years. Maybe a
trip or maybe not. Maybe dinner at a favorite restaurant or maybe not. The
important thing is that we remember – and we celebrate. Tonight, we will cook
together. Steak Au Poivre on the back porch. Monogrammed linen napkins. Candles
and Van Morrison. Perfect.
I was talking to a friend the other day about the mystery of
marriage. We agreed that sometimes even in a fairly good marriage we can go
days, weeks, sometimes longer wondering who really is this person we married
and can we go the distance? There are definitely “seasons.”She asked me how we
had made our marriage work for all these years. I have been trying to think of
answers that would encourage and motivate my own children to help them grow in
their own marriages. Some are not very profound, some are silly, and some
serious, but together they seem to be a good recipe for a marriage that goes
the diastance.
1 – Forgive one another.
Little annoyances can build up to big trouble. Clear the clutter of
small stuff.
2 – Find the good
3 – Greet each other with eye contact – hugs and kisses are
a bonus as the years go byJ
4 – That means, put down the paper or iphone to acknowledge
one another
5 – Help each other -
marriage is a team.
6 – Support the interests of each other
7 – Say “Thank You” and mean it. A smile is a bonus.
8 – Surprise each other
9 – Share concerns with each other
10 – Do things together
11 – remember all days are not glamorous and fun
12 – you will have some really bad days
13 - respect each
other’s need for space
14 – work together on long range goals
15 – keep yourself physically healthy
16 – pray together
17 – read a devotional together
18 – worship together
19 – plan a budget and stick to it
20 – answer the phone when he/she calls
21 – be an encourager
22 – give each other space for friends and hobbies – but not
too much!
23 – recognize the fact that you will not always see
‘eye-to-eye’
24 – keep a bucket list and annually review and revise – and
revise again
25 – change will happen; change is good, but then you must
change with change
26 – love your in-laws – expand your ability to embrace
others with grace
27 – work hard with a daily schedule
28 – live on less; save more
29 – read good books, but don’t insist you read all the same
books
30 – laugh at yourselves together
31 – serve the homeless; go on a mission trip; think of
others you might help
32 – remember birthdays and anniversaries – late does not
count!
33 – be hospitable and open your home to others
34 – learn new skills; take a foreign language or cooking
class
35 – sing together; sing with your friends
36 – be a tourist in your own town – see the sights together
37 – recognize that some days are harder than others; move
through
38 – go to farmer’s market and find something new to fix for
dinner
39 – forgive each other for not being perfect – think I said
that one first and repeating again
40 – extend grace abundantly
41 – be grateful every day
42 – celebrate each day as a day to improve
This is the day the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be
glad in it! (Psalms)
