What Does An Angel Look Like?

A client made a personal visit to my husband's office the other day. She had never met his assistant and while talking privately in his office, complimented her happy, helpful spirit and said, "In my mind I had not pictured her to be so joy-filled. I love being around her." His response was a question: "Well, what does an angel look like?" I have thought about that question, certainly affirming that yes, an angel looks just like his assistant. She daily offers support and encouragement to those around her. She often brings good news and steps in to correct or improve a situation. She is always looking and finding ways to help others at just the right time. How fortunate are those who get to work with people who are angel look-alikes.
My mother was one. Though not living, her birthday was a few days ago. She loved birthdays and made birthday cakes for everyone. She prided herself in learning how to make the frosting roses for the top of the cake and would make dozes of roses at one time in all shapes and colors, freezing them for the next birthday to bring out and top the cake for the friend or grandchild. Through the years, she would write letters and pray for the events in our lives. She was the kind of angel that watched over, tending to specific needs, and always showing up with an offering of time, service or companionship. I miss that angel.
The Bible speaks of angels on many occasions, especially during the time of Jesus' birth. Some events are simply supernatural and go beyond human logic or reasoning. And so angels show up to help people understand the significance of what is happening. In researching, I found a concise paragraph with several examples of angels and their duties. "Angels are spiritual beings created by God who help carry out his work on earth. They bring God's messages to people (Luke 1:26), protect God's people (Daniel 6:22), offer encouragement (Genesis 16:7), give guidance (Exodus 14:19), carry out punishment (2 Samuel 24:16), patrol the earth (Zechariah !:9-14), and fight the forces of evil (2Kings 6:16-18; Revelation12:7), and offer continuous praise to God (Rev:7:11,12)." (Life Application Bible, NIV, Tyndale: 1988; pg.1640).
With my eyes, I don't think I have never seen an angel up close. But there have been times when I have felt a presence of someone or something near that was supernatural - that was not seen but present. Hebrews 13:2 says," Do not forget to entertain strangers for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it." I choose to believe that angels do show up to bring a message, protect, offer encouragement, give guidance, discipline, patrol and fight daily for us as children of God. I hope I never turn away that kind of support.
I am praying today for one of those angels to visit my friend who is experiencing one of those life events that go beyond explaining. Oh, it's not so rare - the longer I live, the harder things seem to become. War, murder, disasters, hatred, illness all leave us a little lacking for explanation. We stop in our tracks and scream "No!" to all of it. We feel so helpless and insecure. And then someone-- some angel-- steps forward to offer help and hope, to comfort and listen, to step in and offer light when things seem so dark. Would you be that angel?

On Rearranging Furniture

Sometimes I need a fresh perspective. I could ask someone's opinion. I could do more research. I could change my routine. But none of those steps quite measure up to simply rearranging the furniture. It's a common joke at our house. I love to bait my husband when he checks in from his office, asking me "What have you done today?" When I answer slyly with "You won't believe it" he moans and asks, "The furniture again?" I laugh and say he will have to wait - important inner work is being done.
It is especially gratifying when the new look comes across better than I had thought. I can study and study a room when there seems to be no other way to place the furniture. Then I see it with my mind's eye and wonder why it never dawned on me before. It makes perfect sense. I feel comfortable in my space with have more energy. And to top it off, the dog is thrilled that his lost toys have been uncovered.
Sarah Ban Breathnach says in her book Simple Abundance, "Never assume that the people in your life, especially those closest to you, won't innocently meddle in your internal affairs while you're on the path to authenticity. The predictable person they know is more familiar than the woman they don't know, even if she's the real you." Sometimes rearranging the furniture a safe way to move along that path to authenticity.
Life's inner work is rearranged in a similar fashion. Over the years we have had the good fortune to stay in one place and much of our space is predictable and routine. As someone often reminds me by saying, "I like old things that still work." Don't we all. I recently made the comment to a friend that we have had the same living room sofa for 35 years. She said, "Well, of course, but how many times have you recovered it?" The table became silent when I had to answer , "none." It forced me to reconsider all the reasons why I " keep the old things that still work." Certainly, I'm grateful. But sometimes the old ways don't work anymore and change is inevitable. The cat shreds the sofa fabric or a table leg breaks. So we move it around, replace, paint, throw away, switch out a lamp or buy a new shade. If we are lucky, it could be something as simple as lowering the wattage of a lamp or moving a chair to the window for the morning light. Fresh perspectives will take hold if we notice that some work needs to be done.
Once the process gets started, it often moves from room to room and before you realize it, you have moved into a whole new phase in your life. Clutter is cleared and the old is given away. There is space to grow in healthier ways. You look around and somehow a whole new color scheme has transformed and enlivened. Simplicity abounds. Inner work is making progress.
We know when it is time for a fresh perspective. God points to the clock, nudging us to get the inner self moving along toward work, peace and productivity. And we choose how the productivity will, or will not, be played out. We must try out new ways, re-arrange, seek new solutions and welcome change. King Solomon summed it up in Ecclesiastes.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-15, A Time for Everything
"There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven ~
2 A time to give birth, and a time to die; A time to plant, and a time to uproot what is planted.
3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; A time to tear down, and a time to build up.
4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; A time to mourn, and a time to dance.
5 A time to throw stones, and a time to gather stones; A time to embrace, and a time to shun embracing.
6 A time to search, and a time to give up as lost; A time to keep, and a time to throw away.
7 A time to tear apart, and a time to sew together; A time to be silent, and a time to speak.
8 A time to love, and a time to hate; A time for war, and a time for peace.
9 What profit is there to the worker from that in which he toils? 10 I have seen the task which God has given the sons of men with which to occupy themselves. 11 He has made everything appropriate in its time. He has also set eternity in their heart, yet so that man will not find out the work which God has done from the beginning even to the end. 12 I know that there is nothing better for them than to rejoice and to do good in one's lifetime; 13 moreover, that every man who eats and drinks sees good in all his labor, it is the gift of God. 14 I know that everything God does will remain forever; there is nothing to add to it and there is nothing to take from it, for God has so worked that men should fear Him. 15 That which is has been already, and that which will be has already been, for God seeks what has passed by."

The Gift and the Great

This Friday is her birthday. She will be 44. She lives in an assisted living facility with a debilitating disease. Her family will be with her like they are most days. She is beautiful and loved and I will go and visit her for a few minutes. Her smile is warm and engaging and she will be happy to see me. She will welcome me to her room which is filled with photos and flowers and happy colors. We will share a time of chit-chat, lamenting about our age and how we can't believe we're as old as we are. We will laugh and hug and love each other.
This morning I read a scripture verse that I will take with me. Proverbs 18:16 says "A gift opens the way for the giver and ushers him into the presence of the great." I will take a small gift to my friend - an angel to sit on her bookshelf. She will be gracious in receiving this small token of love. But I know that the gift for her is the visit - time with another friend, time with the world that used to be hers outside of her now-confining walls, time to share and smile and pass a few minutes in the give and take of friendship.
It is hard to go. It is hard to put painful memories aside and reach out to one who needs my gift. If I let self intrude in my purpose, it will grab me and say, "It's too hard. Protect yourself from those memories of your own daughter who faced a different but same kind of disease - one that deteriorates and destroys. Run from your pain, don't return to it-- avoid thinking about it and get on with life."
I am learning that "life" is in going to hard places. One writer calls it "hiding my thorn in the rose." Life is responding to the need that pricks my heart, positions my day and points me toward the people in my life who need a rose from me. The verse says "the gift opens the way for the giver and ushers him into the presence of the great." Throughout time, gifts have ushered people into the presence of the great. Remember the Wise Men who traveled miles to find the Great One, Jesus. They were guided by a star and after delivering their gifts they were guided on by a star. Could the baby Jesus, the creator of the stars, draw them to Him and then send them on to spread the news about Him? I am strengthened by this thought of drawing me close just to send me out.
Funny, but when we go to the hard places with others, as others have visited the hard places with us, we begin to realize that they are more bearable, the heaviness is gone and hope fills our hearts. It must have something to do with being ushered into the presence of the great.
"Give others the sunshine,
Tell Jesus the rest."
(Leaves for the Quiet Hour)

Even in my loss, I worked on

I continue to be surprised at the faithfulness of God. This morning I read in my mother's tattered 1939 copy of Springs In The Valley. The scripture was from Ezekiel 24:18 which states, "In the evening my wife died; the next morning I did as I had been commanded." Ezekiel was a prophet who served God around 590 BC. He was a younger contemporary of Jeremiah and served as a "street preacher" to the exiles in Babylon. God asked Ezekiel to do some out-of-the-ordinary things and Ezekiel obeyed. The final chapters in the book of Ezekiel offer hope and restoration for the reader.
Maybe that is why When God Comes Near has just been recognized as a book that offers hope and restoration to the reader. Last week I attended the Blue Ridge Mountains Christian Writers Conference in Asheville, North Carolina. Trying to "put myself out there in the literary world" I sent the book off to be judged by people I did not know-- people who did not know Megan, our family or anything about the horrific circumstances of our lives four years ago. I felt I could allow myself some vulnerability.
After three days of going to writing classes, taking copious notes and meeting with publishers, agents and new friends, we all gathered for the Thursday night banquet where many awards were handed out to people from all over the country. The final three awards of the night were the two "Selah" Book of the Year Awards and The Director's Choice Award. When God Comes Near claimed all three awards.
Admittedly, I was happy and honored to walk to the stage the first time. My hard work had paid off. Someone other than my closest friends had recognized the work as substantial. But when the book was recognized a second and third time, I was reminded of the Bible verse that the conference had claimed for 2011: 1 Thessalonians 1:3 "We remember before our God and Father your work produced by faith, your labor prompted by love, and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ."NIV
Like Ezekiel, God asked me to do something I consider out-of-the-ordinary. Like Ezekiel, I obeyed. I stood in my child's hospital room and told my friend that I could not turn my back on the God I loved. When my heart was breaking, I wrote. When I could not believe what was happening to my "perfect life" I wrote. When I went through the valley of death with my child, I wrote. Sometimes I think the words came to heal me. But now I believe the words came to heal others as well. I suppose one has to be well in order to help others get well. In the past four years writing has been a healing balm, soothing my soul while offering something to those who also need healing. I am so grateful my story is allowed to be used because it is in the using we become real--like the skin horse in the Velveteen Rabbit.
The morning devotional said, "The great God wants our conspicuous crises to be occasions of conspicuous testimony: our seasons of darkness to be opportunities for the unveiling of the Divine. He wants us to manifest the sweet grace of continuance amid all the sudden and saddening upheavals of our intensely varied life. This was the prophet's triumph. He made his calamity a witness to the eternal. He made his very loneliness minister to his God. He made his very bereavement intensify his calling. He took up the old task, and in taking it up he glorified it. The evening sorrow will come to all of us: what shall we be found doing in the morning?"

Heaven in Manhattan

This morning I woke to the familiar call of the morning birds outside my window. It was good to be home - back to the quiet, back to the familiar noises of nature and green space. I do not want to live in New York City, but I must admit, I do love to go there. I love the drive from the airport, crossing the bridge and driving along the river into Manhattan. I love the thrill of the cab ride, the honking and speeding only to stop quickly, shifting lanes to press on to our destination. Did we tell our driver we were in a hurry? I love the excitement of Times Square, the lights. and the music on every corner. I love the dinner before the theatre when knowing waiters are attentive to serve you outstanding food in short order. I love the beautiful department stores and the quaint shops in SoHo. I love the crazy idea of standing in line for something as simple and trendy as a cupcake! And I love the walking and walking and walking, even though this morning my body feels somewhat exhausted from the fun of it all.
Exhaustion from what? Certainly not exhausted from being with my family on a fun get-away weekend. Certainly not exhausted from enjoying new experiences together, looking at great art, and sharing a few days of sightseeing together in a fascinating city.
But exhaustion from the extreme pace of it all. Exhaustion from the hurrying, the movement, the noise, the lack of sky and sunlight - the lack of cardinals at my feeder and jasmine blooming outside my door. I realized all that I missed when we climbed the steps and walked through the doors of the beautiful St. Thomas Fifth Avenue Church. It was Saturday and the only movement inside was the soft music coming from the organ. One person wandered around. Two people sat at the front of the long nave. The three of us sat toward the back and rested our feet and listened. For me it was a moment of quiet nourishment from the contrast of frenzy outside the heavy, wooden door. As the narrator of the video describes so beautifully "the church takes one from "earthliness to heavenliness." (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b_rL2TZ2ZbQ&feature=player_embedded) Upon entering, it is simple and dark and dreary. But walk in and look up and experience "heavenliness" as the beautiful, tall stain-glassed windows capture the light from the sky and shine down strikingly, reminding the one who enters that here one can indeed, be refreshed and renewed, transported from earth to heaven right in the middle of Manhattan.
What a stark contrast to then step back outside into the bustle and noise of the city. I could not help but make the contrast as we remembered the parents and children lined up outside of FAO Schwartz, waiting for the opportunity to walk through doors to be mesmerized by a toy heaven. We had stood there once and even Blair remembered her childhood day of bliss and the purchase of some long-forgotten toy. But just around the corner, there were even longer lines to get into Abercrombie and Fitch, a store where grown-up kids crave buying an identity that will somehow give them notoriety and power. Henri Nouwen (Show Me the Way, pg. 64) explains it well," There is a mystery which is difficult to grasp in an age that attaches so much value to publicity. We tend to think that the more people know and talk about something, the more important it must be. That's understandable, considering the fact that great notoriety often means big money, and big money often means a large degree of power, and power easily creates the illusion of importance. In our society, it's often statistics that determine what is important: the best selling CD, the most popular book, the richest man, the highest tower-block, the most expensive car."

The journey of this Lenten season reminds us again of the disciples and how they, too, were looking for their leader to be one of power and might. They wanted to follow their idea of a king, their idea of a real leader. But as Jesus continued his resolute mission, we observe the way as harder and harder, lonelier and lonelier, descending as opposed to ascending. He moved away from the crowds and became more and more attentive to the invisible God. Like the disciples, it is just so hard for us to grasp this mysterious idea of descending, giving up, letting go to gain eternity. We want our kingdom and our notoriety now - even with a passing logo.
I amuse myself at finding similarities in stepping into church and stepping into one of those high priced luxury stores on Fifth Avenue. Certainly, you will never have to wait in line. The inside is quiet and serene. There is soft music, good smells and refined, gentle people to assist you.
I suppose the difference is in the point of purchase - or the decision. Should you decide to buy an item you will simply pay your money to the sales person. You will walk out proudly carrying a bag with a logo of distinction. And to justify your purchase, you promise yourself that you will wear the item for the rest of your life.
Should you decide to invest in a spiritual journey of faith, the things of the earth become dimmer and dimmer and all you want is the "heavenliness" of looking up to eternity. The cost? The Bible says that salvation is free to all. People generally line up for something that is free. We certainly stood in line for free admittance to the MoMA. But this freedom is costly because it is a decision not of the wallet, but of the heart. The heart wears a new logo of faith that is acted out daily with choices and attitudes, not carried around to sit aside when we are tired and want to move on to another style. We will be asked to trust in eternal things, not public opinion. We will be asked to give up. We will have to move from "earthliness to heavenliness." What I love is that right in the middle of the madness of Manhattan, "there is a place of quiet rest" where one can easily distinguish the two.

Dahlonega or Disney World

Early yesterday I committed the day to working on marketing my book, When God Comes Near. Just before lunch a friend called, and said, "Drop everything and meet me on the golf course." The weather was stupendous for early March and for ten minutes I battled the choice - work or play...work or play. Before I wandered from my plan, I quickly called her back and said, "I have committed to only book work today. I know you understand. Have a blast." She did understand, being in the professional world herself she knows when work must come first.
Saying "yes" to my commitment seemed to ignite a fire within and move me through the day with lightning speed. Calls were made. Books were delivered and checks were picked up. Parking places opened up and lines were short. The rest of the day was like someone was three steps ahead of me, paving a trail, making my tasks swift and productive. I came home and prepared more books for shipping, wrote some letters and acknowledgements, clearing the stack on my desk. It was seven o'clock before I realized people might be wanting dinner.
What is it that motivates us in our work? What is it that makes us feel we have purpose in our tasks? And how can get distracted with many good things and never get our most important job done? I'll tell you how. We simply want it all and think because we are smart we can do it all. We want to turn left when we should be turning right. We want to grab all the little special events and forget the big project that is ours alone to complete. Have you thought what yours might be?
Here's an example. When our children were in preschool, 1st and 3rd grade we took them to Disney World. Mike and I made the reservations in advance, planned this as a surprise, packed their suitcases and picked them up at the end of the school day. To say the least, they were excited. I still get excited just remembering. They began to guess where in the world might we be taking them and named all the fun places they liked to go. They thought maybe we were going to their grandmother's in KY. They thought maybe we were going camping. We said we were going someplace really fun - like Dahlonega, a small town north of Atlanta where we would go on day trips and pan for gold, hike, and get some fudge or a caramel apple. We laughed at all their enthusiastic guesses and promised it would be the best ever. After the initial flurry of excitement we settled in for the long drive down I-75 to the Florida state line. Once there, Megan and Owen began to notice the billboards and finally squealed, "We're going to Disney World! We're going to Disney World!" Blair, on the other hand, began to cry and between sobs said, "But I wanted to go to Dahlonega!"
Mike and I looked at each other, struck with the passion of our preschooler, and yet somehow thinking the joke was on us. Here we had saved our money, made reservations for a trip every child (and parent) dreams of, driven hundreds of miles and all little Blair wanted was to go up the road a few miles to pan for gold. Thank goodness for a wiser and more worldly older brother and sister who quickly educated Blair on the joys and benefits of Disney World - Dumbo, Mickey and Donald Duck, Cinderella, and the Pirates of the Caribbean. Blair's world suddenly opened to new possibilities and soon she too was pointing and cheering every time a billboard would draw us closer.
Some days are Dahlonega days. They are great days, full of commitments, meetings, chores, gardening and family time. Dahlonega days are the routine days of life. And sometimes you find a little nugget of gold in a day's panning. But if you don't, well, you then reward yourself with some fudge for the ride home. You return again and again with the same expectations and contentment for a somewhat ordinary destination. Day in, day out. Nothing special, but enough to see you through.
Some days are Disney days when you feel you have walked directly into the "Magic Kingdom!" You have committed and planned ahead and charted your course. You stick to your plan and your purpose seems so clear. Although there is much to do, you feel confident. You are alert with anticipation and sometimes just have to snicker at the "not-so-coincidental coincidences" that come your way. And at the end of the day you marvel at what has been accomplished.
We all want more Disney days. But oh, is it ever costly. We have to be organized and diligent. We have to say "no" to lots of days in Dahlonega in order to save up for the big payback, the big day when our efforts have been fruitful and the wait has been worth every minute of perseverance. I must return to the question posed earlier: what is the project that is yours alone to complete? What steps are you taking to transform every day into days of wonder, discovery and purpose for a greater good?
This week Christians will begin again the 40-day journey to the cross. It is a time of denial and introspection. It is not idle. Jesus not only said to his disciples, "Deny yourself." He also said to "take up your cross and follow me." That means the "project that is yours alone to complete" must be lifted and carried toward HIs Eternal Kingdom. There is nothing magical about it. It's real and it's forever.

Friendship - A Beneficial Food Group

Friendship - a Beneficial Food Group
How many friends do you have? Sometimes I think I have one. Sometimes I think I have 5 or 6. Sometimes I think I have multiples of 6. A gathering recently reminded me that friends are this fragile, unique, ever-changing, inspiring combination of certain characteristics that draw me to them. And if I exhibit some characteristic that draws them to me, well...then we begin to share in this mysterious fellowship called friendship, giving and receiving, offering it up freely with love and acceptance, and friendship grows and becomes this rare treasure.
Just as eating certain amounts and types of food is recommended as one of the most important ways to achieve a healthy diet, a special combination of friends can bring together personality traits that strengthen, enrich, and motivate one to be the best they can be. They are different for all of us , but common threads connect.
I am not a psychologist, but I would venture to say that the areas in which one looks to others for friendship and finds value are the areas in which they themselves might feel the weakest. I think it must be what "compliments" a friendship. For example, a good listener is attracted to the one who can tell a story. And a good story teller certainly needs the good listener. It is a two-way street. That is not to say that the good listener should always have to listen. One must learn the art of give and take.
Here are some examples of friendships that compliment each another:
The one who makes me laugh, diminishes my quietness and lifts my heart; she sees the glass half-full and teaches me her viewpoint
"Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down."
Oprah Winfrey
The one who inspires me, pulls out my own creative efforts and encourages me to rethink, redo, start again
"Wishing to be friends is quick work, but friendship is a slow ripening fruit."
Aristotle
The one who calms and soothes me gives me time to breath and rest with thought-out, clear ideas .
"The real test of friendship is: can you literally do nothing with the other person? Can you enjoy those moments of life that are utterly simple? "
Eugene Kennedy

The one who challenges me and demonstrates in her own profession that I, too can begin fresh and contribute something in the workplace.
"You can always tell a real friend: when you've made a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job."
Laurence J. Peter

The one who confidently shares my faith and touches my soul, stabilizing and strengthening my heart.
"The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing... not healing, not curing... that is a friend who cares."
Henri Nouwen

And overarching all of these unique characteristics of friendship is the little word "love." We often say we love someone, but are we patient with them? Are we kind to them? Do we envy them? Do we brag? Are we rude? Do we get angry? Do we keep a record of wrongs? Do we protect and trust and hope and persevere? Those are the words found in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7:
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
Everyone wants to have a friend. Being a friend is first step.