Make The List

On occasion, I read something that touches my soul, speaks to my heart, takes my breath away. I read the words and remember similar thoughts and feelings that made me feel alone, questioning, separated by a sea of grief yet connected in a way that gave me a painful sort of joy. But hard as one tries, words cannot fully express. We each must walk the path and find our own way. It is so individual and yet all so connected. With lives intertwined, we are asked to love one another. Choosing love, we also choose pain and suffering because we just can't have one without the other. It's the painful sort of joy.

My friend coming out of the grocery story is choosing love. Carrying three cases of old-fashioned canning jars, I asked, "Henry, what in the world are you doing?" He laughed and said, "Canning pears." And then he turned to a more serious subject and we talked about his beautiful daughter walking through cancer, looking for options, choosing love and hope. I came home thinking about how hard we work to preserve what we know and love. Canned Pears. Beautiful daughters.

I am reading the book One Thousand Gifts. I downloaded the book on my Kindle, but already know it is one I need to buy to underline and return to often. The author Ann Voskamp is challenged to write down 1000 things for which she is thankful. I will not tell you the story because, as my friend wrote to me, saying "stop what you was doing and go get the book," I would echo the same thoughts. Finding gratitude in everyday life events is what saves us. Nothing else. Voskamp says, "Thanksgiving always comes before blessing." I know this to be true. As I look out the window at the sudden change of the season, I smile and am grateful... for the red streaks in the Maple trees, one last rose begging to sit at my desk, cardinals playing hide-and-seek, Dr. Feelgood's morning call, Bodey at my feet, my son's emailed travel itinerary, my daughter's bright attitude toward her first jury summons, a repairmen on time. One thousand gifts is a short list. I smile and I know.

Because I know, there is strength for this life journey. I know God stays with us through the bad times - all the way. I know he is "close to the broken-hearted and draws near to the crushed in spirit." I know He blesses us with friends and material comforts, but the real blessing is in knowing Him. I know the power of his comfort, his strength, his wisdom, his staying power. I know Him and want others to have strength for their journey. And as our paths cross in our daily events, I want to be joyfully present in each event - welcoming the traveler, sharing an omelet, reflecting what I know. Maybe that is why these words come - sometimes with humor, sometimes with anger and often with questions - lots of questions. But never without gratitude and trust in the One I know.

Maybe we have just never been challenged to make the list. We'd rather be grumpy. We offer a perfunctory, skin-deep "thank you" and move on as opposed to really listening or really observing or really paying attention to the present that is offering moments of real wonder. John Milton said, "Gratitude bestows reverence, allowing us to encounter everyday epiphanies, those transcendent moments of awe that change forever how we experience life and the world." Until we can stop and be still -- be reverent-- gratitude will elude our hearts and we will miss the blessing. Thanksgiving always precedes the blessing.

So Get Busy

Mike and I recently enjoyed watching The Shawshank Redemption and today I was reminded of what Andy Dufresne said to one of his fellow prisoners, "Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies... so get busy living, or get busy dying."

What are you busy doing today? Living? Dying? It's a pointed question to ask yourself every morning when you get up. The directness of the question sorts things out pretty quickly and should make the daily choices we make clear.

This week I have watched people being busy with living: one is busy holding her head up as she waits and watches for reconciliation; one is busy recovering from cancer, heading out on a trip with her newly retired husband; one is in the midst of cancer treatment, but making Sloppy Joes for her husband as she skips out the door for a girls outing; one is another country, helping less fortunate children find hope for the first time; and one friend just called from outside her house to say she was sending me a picture of a praying mantis on her moonflower-- all ordinary tasks, all living with hope.

There are some days for all of us that are spent simply dying. We lose direction. We lose hope. We move through the day, respond to phone calls, think about what we should or could be doing and before we know it, we have managed to never find the productivity we longed for - the accomplishment of a well-ordered day of living, the article written, the meeting set, the proposal sent out, the contract finalized, the fall garden planted.

There is a verse in Romans that is a power source for living each day. It says, "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." --Romans 15:13

If you study the verse, it says "as you trust in him" you will be filled with joy and peace and the overflow from our trusting will fill us with hope - not by our power, but by the power of the Holy Spirit. Something is required of us. We are asked to trust in the God of hope so that we will overflow with hope and spill out into the lives around us, lifting and offering hope to those who might be busy dying.

So what will it be today - living or dying? Some days might be really dark, but I love what author Anne Lamott says about that, "Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come." Just showing up and trying to do the right thing is the most courageous thing I have ever done. And I imagine we sleep better at night when we have trusted in a greater source than ourselves, being filled with hope, overflowing to others. It never gets old or stagnant, but a constant flow of movement through our lives. Get busy now with your choice.

September Anniversary Sale

The single oak leaf that floated down in front of me reminded me that another season is here. And although many of us have been looking forward to this squelcher of a summer to be over, I always enter into September with some trepidation for, to me, September is the month of death. I watch the butterflies finish up their short, busy lives. I pull up the remains of the garden. I watch my Impatiens begin to tire just as they are at their fullest, clinging to their beauty for a few more days. And once again I remember those two weeks of watching the darkness of death march into my home and take the life of my child. I don't intend to do it but I find myself there - from a distance - watching it all as an outsider, looking at the one who was about to leave, facing the horror of what had happened, rewinding the events and still finding it hard to believe after three years. Yes, all too real.

I picked up the book When God Comes Near and reread the short story. I felt like someone else, not the author, reading and mystified that such a story could be told while living it. I didn't feel like the author. Let me rephrase that. I knew it wasn't me that got that book written. I believe that when God calls a person out for a task (in my case it was caring for a dying child), he prepares us and guides us through whatever the task might be. And I also believe that he calls each one of us to some task. None of us are off the hook. For me, I guess He thought I should put words on paper. And as I obeyed, how he gave me words, comforted me, taught me and revealed himself to me. All along, he was there with me, guiding the work to completion. And then he let me put my name on the book. Maybe it should have been titled When I Come Near and Wait with You by GOD. You see, with that title, I can say without hesitation, "I really like this book and recommend it to you."

See, by giving the credit to God, I can get to the real point of the book which is simply: God is with us. He walks our paths and provides light for the journey he has planned for our lives. And when we accept his plan and obey what he asks, we will "find ourselves riding with God in ways we never dreamed possible."

So, I am celebrating with a September Anniversary Sale! And I invite you to celebrate Megan's three-year anniversary in Heaven with us, by using what God has richly provided to share with others who might just need hope, encouragement and the promise of better days ahead. I never dreamed a book would be so well received (but now I really know the author and am not surprised.) I never dreamed people would ask me to speak at their events or want to purchase little Fruit of the Spirit Note Cards or Seasonal Greeting Cards. I never dreamed it to be possible. "Oh, ye of little faith."

Here's the "anniversary package" and just in time for getting some early Christmas shopping done.

Buy two books, get the third free along with a set of note cards and a set of greeting cards.

An $85 value for $40 - now there's a savings!

Contact me at marciagaddis@gmail.com or my website www.marciagaddis.com to place an order.

Just now, the sun has come out as I am about to post my thoughts. September is beautiful. The leaves are just beginning to turn red and gold. The promises of new life are everywhere. I have hope.

A Five-Minute Talk

This weekend I will participate in the Decatur Book Festival, a three-day event that features 14 stages packed with authors, live music, poetry readings, panel discussions, signings and cooking demonstrations. Children will be entertained with authors and illustrators, a parade and games, while teens have their own activities. Live music and poetry, cooking demonstrations, the Southern Foodways Alliance Sunday Picnic, the Rare and Collectible Book Fair, and the Writers’ Conference are all part of it too. Plus, the downtown square will be filled with food vendors, a wine garden and plenty of other culinary establishments.

Now that is what I call a jam-packed weekend. As I peruse the schedule of events, I know I must plan to attend some writing workshops, such as "Writing Vivid Characters: Detail, Dimension and Drive" or this title caught my attention, "Writing with Duct Tape - Using Emotion to Create Characters That Stick with Your Reader," but admittedly, my heart leans more toward the entertaining fun of Natalie Dupree discussing "Southern Biscuits." This will take some strategic planning on my part.

And did I mention the Emerging Writers Pavilion and Stage? Growing by leaps and bounds to over ninety authors this year, "emerging "authors are given a few minutes to speak about their book and then a signing opportunity in the sales tent. I guess you are wondering if I will be there and the answer is "yes." I am slowly emerging and have five minutes to speak. Five minutes! How many words can you say in five minutes? Not many for sure. But for sure, every word must count. No leisurely words of thank-you. No funny, anecdotal "get-acquainted" stories that endear your listeners to what you are about to say and calm your nerves. But with every word there is delivered content, interest, wonder and a compelling motivation to read the story. All in a very small nutshell. If you attend the festival on Sunday I am scheduled to speak at 2:20 at the Emerging Writers Stage. It will be an amazing feat to stay on schedule with that many authors stepping up and stepping down in five-minute increments.

Although I am not one to promote myself, this is a five-minute window to "emerge" a little. Start small. Stand up and tell others the short version of my story. It's what some call "building a marketing platform." Media exposure and blog buzz help along this road to emerging. It is an uphill learning curve and it makes me a little dizzy. Maybe that is why "Southern Biscuits" calls my name. There is something comforting about the familiar.

What will I say? Oh, something like:

"My name is Marcia Gaddis and I am the author of When God Comes Near, Waiting in the Miracle of His Presence. I never thought of myself as a writer, but in 2007 I began an online journal to share the heartbreaking story of a life that was taken much too soon. My daughter was 25 and was suddenly stricken with a rare and fatal disease. She would be the one in 150,000,000 to acquire this little-known disease called Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease. During the 16 months of her illness I wrote and wrote and wrote. I pondered the unfairness of it all. I marveled at the beauty and lessons of nature through the changing seasons. And I wrestled and pleaded with God who did come near - but said "no" to healing for my child. And so after her death, I assembled the journal into a memoir - Painful, you ask? Certainly. But the words are full of hope and love and trust. The words encourage and lift and point to something greater by far.

I self-published When God Comes Near in 2010 with the editorial and design support of David Laufer, a book designer from Atlanta. The book is available on Amazon and Kindle ebooks and of course here at the festival. In May of this year, the book received three major awards from the Blue Ridge Mountains Christian Writers Conference - best for Inspiration, Director's Choice and Book of the Year. I am honored to have my name on the cover and to be with you today."

Hope to see you at the Decatur Book Festival. I will either be reading or baking.

Something Will Grow

I have been putting it off. I have been waiting. I have been hoping that surely, somewhere beneath all the leaves and blossoms, there would be an abundance of beans, or cucumbers, or tomatoes. But today is the day I will give up the garden - well, this year's garden. Today is the day I will admit failure. Today is the day I will pull out and clean up and consider what could have produced a greater yield. Maybe it is because I remember too vividly the huge baskets of vegetables picked as a child. My expectations are unrealistic for this small plot of ground. I always hope that this year will be different - that maybe the squirrels won't show up or the rains will be regular and gentle or the types of seeds I have selected will be stronger and prolific in production. Surely something will grow.
There were some successes. We wait and watch, spray and stake, watch and gather. How gratifying to cut enough okra for one or two meals. How tasty to blend up the cucumbers for a perfect cold, cucumber soup or the basil into pesto. How satisfying to keep making "Chuck's Squash Casserole" and to know that you yourself picked those squash. How special to turn those extra zucchini into loaves of bread for giving - and toasting for breakfast. Maybe the scarcity makes it all taste better. Today I'm racking my brain as to how to stretch a handful of green beans to feed two people.
While my little garden is whimsical and I hope for at least some fruits of my effort, the garden my parents tended was essential for my family to have food throughout the winter. All summer long as the produce ripened our kitchen was an assembly line of work. Imagine this: by the end of the summer, the storage room in the basement would be lined with: 60 quarts of green beans, 60 quarts of tomatoes, 30 quarts of peaches, and a variety of relishes and jams, jellies and preserves. There was a chest-type freezer where there would be 60 packages of corn, 60 packages of broccoli, lima beans and squash, strawberries, blueberries, rhubarb - and what have I left out?
As a child, my job was to count and sort the jars as they would arrive in the cool storage room (being the youngest has its advantages.) I would watch the weekly additions as the crops gave up their yield, never really thinking too much about the tremendous amount of work and effort that went into the picking, sorting, washing, trimming, scalding, water-bathing and pressure-cooking. When the vegetables were ready to be picked, all hands were given a job in the production line. And there never seemed to be a crop failure - maybe that is the advantage of planting a large garden. Sow a lot of seeds. Allow for the birds and squirrels and bugs. Something will grow. It's the "abundance mentality."
I look out the window and see the work waiting for me and I am reminded of the verse in scripture that says, "The earth is full of the goodness of the Lord." Looking at a garden is true expression of that goodness. Watching a bloom open (or not) or a vegetable grow (or not) is all part of waiting on God, watching Him work, hearing Him speak. Maybe that's it. We simply don't have much to say in a garden. We mostly listen. I understand now I cannot recreate what I once had. The lush edible gardens in my mind are only a memory and try as I might, I cannot achieve the same results in my small, too-shady vegetable plot. Things are just different. But I will not give up trying. Something will grow there. I must try. Rethink it all. Find new plant alternatives. Read up. Pull out. Start again.
Something will grow.

What Does An Angel Look Like?

A client made a personal visit to my husband's office the other day. She had never met his assistant and while talking privately in his office, complimented her happy, helpful spirit and said, "In my mind I had not pictured her to be so joy-filled. I love being around her." His response was a question: "Well, what does an angel look like?" I have thought about that question, certainly affirming that yes, an angel looks just like his assistant. She daily offers support and encouragement to those around her. She often brings good news and steps in to correct or improve a situation. She is always looking and finding ways to help others at just the right time. How fortunate are those who get to work with people who are angel look-alikes.
My mother was one. Though not living, her birthday was a few days ago. She loved birthdays and made birthday cakes for everyone. She prided herself in learning how to make the frosting roses for the top of the cake and would make dozes of roses at one time in all shapes and colors, freezing them for the next birthday to bring out and top the cake for the friend or grandchild. Through the years, she would write letters and pray for the events in our lives. She was the kind of angel that watched over, tending to specific needs, and always showing up with an offering of time, service or companionship. I miss that angel.
The Bible speaks of angels on many occasions, especially during the time of Jesus' birth. Some events are simply supernatural and go beyond human logic or reasoning. And so angels show up to help people understand the significance of what is happening. In researching, I found a concise paragraph with several examples of angels and their duties. "Angels are spiritual beings created by God who help carry out his work on earth. They bring God's messages to people (Luke 1:26), protect God's people (Daniel 6:22), offer encouragement (Genesis 16:7), give guidance (Exodus 14:19), carry out punishment (2 Samuel 24:16), patrol the earth (Zechariah !:9-14), and fight the forces of evil (2Kings 6:16-18; Revelation12:7), and offer continuous praise to God (Rev:7:11,12)." (Life Application Bible, NIV, Tyndale: 1988; pg.1640).
With my eyes, I don't think I have never seen an angel up close. But there have been times when I have felt a presence of someone or something near that was supernatural - that was not seen but present. Hebrews 13:2 says," Do not forget to entertain strangers for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it." I choose to believe that angels do show up to bring a message, protect, offer encouragement, give guidance, discipline, patrol and fight daily for us as children of God. I hope I never turn away that kind of support.
I am praying today for one of those angels to visit my friend who is experiencing one of those life events that go beyond explaining. Oh, it's not so rare - the longer I live, the harder things seem to become. War, murder, disasters, hatred, illness all leave us a little lacking for explanation. We stop in our tracks and scream "No!" to all of it. We feel so helpless and insecure. And then someone-- some angel-- steps forward to offer help and hope, to comfort and listen, to step in and offer light when things seem so dark. Would you be that angel?

On Rearranging Furniture

Sometimes I need a fresh perspective. I could ask someone's opinion. I could do more research. I could change my routine. But none of those steps quite measure up to simply rearranging the furniture. It's a common joke at our house. I love to bait my husband when he checks in from his office, asking me "What have you done today?" When I answer slyly with "You won't believe it" he moans and asks, "The furniture again?" I laugh and say he will have to wait - important inner work is being done.
It is especially gratifying when the new look comes across better than I had thought. I can study and study a room when there seems to be no other way to place the furniture. Then I see it with my mind's eye and wonder why it never dawned on me before. It makes perfect sense. I feel comfortable in my space with have more energy. And to top it off, the dog is thrilled that his lost toys have been uncovered.
Sarah Ban Breathnach says in her book Simple Abundance, "Never assume that the people in your life, especially those closest to you, won't innocently meddle in your internal affairs while you're on the path to authenticity. The predictable person they know is more familiar than the woman they don't know, even if she's the real you." Sometimes rearranging the furniture a safe way to move along that path to authenticity.
Life's inner work is rearranged in a similar fashion. Over the years we have had the good fortune to stay in one place and much of our space is predictable and routine. As someone often reminds me by saying, "I like old things that still work." Don't we all. I recently made the comment to a friend that we have had the same living room sofa for 35 years. She said, "Well, of course, but how many times have you recovered it?" The table became silent when I had to answer , "none." It forced me to reconsider all the reasons why I " keep the old things that still work." Certainly, I'm grateful. But sometimes the old ways don't work anymore and change is inevitable. The cat shreds the sofa fabric or a table leg breaks. So we move it around, replace, paint, throw away, switch out a lamp or buy a new shade. If we are lucky, it could be something as simple as lowering the wattage of a lamp or moving a chair to the window for the morning light. Fresh perspectives will take hold if we notice that some work needs to be done.
Once the process gets started, it often moves from room to room and before you realize it, you have moved into a whole new phase in your life. Clutter is cleared and the old is given away. There is space to grow in healthier ways. You look around and somehow a whole new color scheme has transformed and enlivened. Simplicity abounds. Inner work is making progress.
We know when it is time for a fresh perspective. God points to the clock, nudging us to get the inner self moving along toward work, peace and productivity. And we choose how the productivity will, or will not, be played out. We must try out new ways, re-arrange, seek new solutions and welcome change. King Solomon summed it up in Ecclesiastes.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-15, A Time for Everything
"There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven ~
2 A time to give birth, and a time to die; A time to plant, and a time to uproot what is planted.
3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; A time to tear down, and a time to build up.
4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; A time to mourn, and a time to dance.
5 A time to throw stones, and a time to gather stones; A time to embrace, and a time to shun embracing.
6 A time to search, and a time to give up as lost; A time to keep, and a time to throw away.
7 A time to tear apart, and a time to sew together; A time to be silent, and a time to speak.
8 A time to love, and a time to hate; A time for war, and a time for peace.
9 What profit is there to the worker from that in which he toils? 10 I have seen the task which God has given the sons of men with which to occupy themselves. 11 He has made everything appropriate in its time. He has also set eternity in their heart, yet so that man will not find out the work which God has done from the beginning even to the end. 12 I know that there is nothing better for them than to rejoice and to do good in one's lifetime; 13 moreover, that every man who eats and drinks sees good in all his labor, it is the gift of God. 14 I know that everything God does will remain forever; there is nothing to add to it and there is nothing to take from it, for God has so worked that men should fear Him. 15 That which is has been already, and that which will be has already been, for God seeks what has passed by."